eek.

it's 25 minutes into class, and i have yet to bring up my class notes. clearly i am over this whole "school" thing.

one trip around the sun

yesterday, robert and i celebrated our first anniversary. that's more than 583 million miles around the sun together! amazing. :)

***

other things that i've been stoked about in the last few days:

1. a sweet weekend in the midwest -- more on that to come. i stepped off the plane and saw potbelly sandwich works, kettle corn, and dunkin' donuts; i found myself engulfed in air so thick i could drink it; and i thought, "i'm home."

2. season 2 of mad men came out yesterday. if you don't watch this show yet, you need to -- the acting and writing are incredible, the characters are complex, the social commentary is nuanced, and the stylistic details are perfect. robert got this for me as an anniversary gift (!!!), and i look forward to many evenings spent watching it instead of playing outside.

3. i just found the feature on googlemaps where you can see what traffic is generally like at any given day/time. this is exactly the function i've been wanting -- "how long would it take me to get to huntington beach at 5pm on a thursday?" i LOVE it. my life has been significantly changed.

so you think you can dance, top 12

omg. can i say how much i love this show? especially when there are a season-high 12 dances and most of the lesser-thans have been weeded out? omg.

no question: last night's show killed. a few thoughts:

ade and melissa, disco: got the evening started with an excellent disco routine. there is no style that ballet training isn't helpful for, and there is no style that ade can't conquer. he was OWNING it. and those lifts! holy freaking crap. the upside-down split was impressive, and the crazy behind-the-back-fully-extended one was even more so. a fine way to start the evening.

kayla and kupono, contemporary: freaking sucker-punched me with this routine. the viewing crew was completely silent for this entire number. i'm not the biggest fan of this couple, but they killed this one; the dancing was phenomenal, and the story was utterly absorbing. mia michaels, you've gotten mean this season, but you're still a stinkin' genius. and kayla, you still have no personality ("this is really personal for kupono. so it's going to be really emotional for him"), but damn, girl, you can dance. the judges didn't rave as much as the viewing crew expected... but we immediately rewatched the routine, which is our highest form of praise.

jason and caitlin, foxtrot: gah. the couple i so want to do well, but consistently... underwhelms me. gah. they looked awesome -- finally, a non-freakish costume for her, and he looked FINE in that suit (what is that style called? double-breasted with 2 parallel rows of 3 fully-buttoned buttons? the internet is giving me conflicting messages. someone help me out here, b/c it's my FAVE.) the judges liked the number, but i wasn't loving it. her lines and kicks were excellent, but there wasn't anything about it that grabbed me. sad, because i want them to do well... but every week, watching them is a bit of a disappointment.

philip and jeanine, russian folk dance: i was impressed with what they delivered, but what struck me most was nigel's comments -- i don't think i've ever heard him dog a choreographer like that before. his whole i-don't-know-why-we-had-you-do-that, "it was too folksy" (news flash: it's a folk dance) schtick was shocking in light of the fact that he usually kisses the choreographers' bums throughout the entire show.

randi and evan, hip hop: i love me a good nappytabs routine (when i started hearing "halo" on the radio, i thought, "slow hip-hop number... i feel a nappytabs routine coming..."), and i was pleasantly surprised by how this one turned out. randi won me over on this one -- she was hitting pretty hard, which i didn't expect. i didn't see any of the story, though, aside from the belly rub, and none of the acting that was promised. and evan... as much as i'm rooting for him, and as much as i'm calling in for him every week... looked a bit like a nerdy white kid. he executed everything, but it wasn't as hard as it needed to be. eeeesh.

(i also love that every number they have involves evan chasing her or them being madly in love, which consistently sends her into paroxysms. "i think this show is designed to make randi uncomfortable," said juls. truth.)

brandon and janette, argentine tango: hands down, best performance of the night. oh my goodness. everything about this routine was perfection: the technique, the emotion (the intensity on her face!), the character, the lines, EVERYTHING. the flicks, the crazy horizontal flip at the beginning... i could go on and on. i was so overwhelmed with how good it was that i dropped the f-bomb. this is definitely the couple to beat.

(commercial break: was it us, or did it feel like tyce was flirting with everyone? male, female, dancer, choreographer... whenever he narrows his eyes and shakes his head slightly, i feel like he's going to pounce. also, his orange juice analogy made no sense. but i do like him as a judge. moving on....)

ade and melissa, waltz: first of all, i loved that they both got teary when they talked about how much they loved working together. so funny -- you wouldn't think they'd have ANYTHING in common, this married 29-year-old ballerina and this 20-year-old college student with a perennial fro pick, but the fact that they love each other... i got a little faklempt. it's really sad to see this pair split up. but anyhoo: waltzes often put me to sleep, but this one was lovely. their technique is always excellent, and their characters are always believable. everyone knows she's amazing, but he continues to impress me -- he's still flying under the radar, but i think he'll go a long way. (will he need more personality, though? hmmmm...)

kayla and kupono, broadway: i'm glad that the mean choreographer was not as mean this week. maybe she was mean to randi and evan because they're little. anyway, i enjoyed this routine -- they're both great dancers, and it was executed well -- but it was kind of... bland. which is pretty much how i feel about her -- amazing technically, no personality. i don't think she's generated very much of a following, so while i think the top 10 is a safe bet for her, i don't think she'll go far.

jason and caitlin, contemporary: again, i wanted this to be spectacular -- they're finally in their style! -- and again i was left... underwhelmed. i think this is the best they've done since the bollywood routine, and i can see why they both made the top 20, but there wasn't anything particularly stunning about this performance. (and mandy moore, what is it with you and early 90s songs?) this is the one couple that i'm eager to see split up -- i agree with nigel that there is a certain chemistry that's lacking there -- but will they last that long? hard to say....

philip and jeanine, jive: when i heard they were doing the jive, i said, "this is going to suck." remarkably, it didn't. it was a fun piece and the judges thought that it was the best he had done outside his style -- but is that saying much? that's a pretty low bar. she is an astounding dancer, but her personality seems fake to me, and like kayla, i don't think she's generating much of a fan base. said robin: "if she wins, i will lose my faith in this show." agreed.

randi and evan, samba: gahhhhhh. i wanted this to be good too, but it wasn't sexy or fast enough. maybe because i have memories of kayla and max and lacey and danny. the judges liked her, but i wasn't even particularly impressed with her. i feel bad for him -- it seems like after every routine, they tell randi she's amazing and tell him that they expect more -- but eek... that performance was not great.

brandon and janette, jazz: first, i loved how he said that she brought him out of his shell -- that makes perfect sense. they're a prime example of how a good partnernship can make you on the show: he had all the skill, but she brought flava out of him too, and that's what's going to keep him in the competition for a long time. this is another split i'm sad to see. about the routine: they killed it yet again. holy freaking crap. i usually don't love wade's stuff -- it all looks halloween-y to me -- but i loved this number. everything was so sharp and perfectly executed, and i loved all of the michael jackson-esque stuff in there, too. i noted last week that i'd be interested to see how she would do in a contemporary piece; this is the closest they've gotten to that, and she still killed it. really, truly the couple to beat.

predictions for tomorrow:

safe: brandon and janette, ade and melissa. (i say the last one with a hint of reservation, b/c they're amazing and everyone loves them and they're safe week after week, yet i know few people who are calling for them regularly. i hope they're safe, though, and they deserve to be.)

bottom three: the only couple i can say for sure is jason and caitlin -- though they surprised everyone last week. maybe he's inherited some of jonathan's teenybopper fan base. otherwise, it's a mixed bag. evan and randi did not have a stellar night, but they were safe with their less-than-stellar performance last week, which makes me think that they have a significant fan base (yeah, kasprzaktivists!) that could keep them safe this week as well. philip and jeanine were a surprise bottom-3 couple last week -- in his style, no less -- and one weak performance could put them there again. kayla and kupono have been in the bottom 3 twice now, surprising in light of their dancing, but not surprising because of her lack of personality and his lack of magnetism with female fans (juls and mia michaels excepted). so it's a tough call. if i had to choose, i would pick jason/caitlin, kayla/kupono, philip/jeanine.

who's going home: jason and caitlin. jason is a good dancer, but the judges will pick the growth that philip showed this week and kupono's character abilites (given that he choreographs a better solo this week than last) over jason, who doesn't bring anything unique to the show. the judges will be sad to send caitlin home, but if it's between her, kayla, and jeanine (or even randi) -- there's no question who they'd choose.

interestingly, i like the guys much better this season -- there's just so much personality there -- but the girls are definitely better technically. if we're talking just technique, then kayla, jeanine, randi, janette, and melissa are all standouts. but personality? doesn't quite match the dudes.

as always, would love to hear your thoughts!

sometimes, even when i am dumb, things just work out

many of you know that for the last 4 years, i shared a bunk bed with my beloved domestic partner. it had been the dream of my life when i was 7 to sleep on the top bunk of a bunk bed... and come age 22, those crazy dreams came true.

since i have recently acquired my own room (first time in 5 years! crazy) and the bunk bed is a pain in the rear to assemble, i decided it was time to sell the bunk. i posted it on craigslist for the same price as my domestic partner did for the same model (not the bunk we shared... long story) and was peeved when NO ONE responded.

so i dropped the price and re-posted it... only to realize that i had never actually published the posting the first time. sometimes i'm blown away by my own awesomeness. but i was eager to rid of the bunk, especially since i had to lug all the pieces and mattresses to my new place and they were taking up space in the garage, a daily reminder of my procrastination and absent-mindedness. so i left the price as it was.

it sold in less than a day, and today it was picked up by a very hip dad and his adorable son and nephew. the boys are staying with him for the summer, the dad said, and he needed something for them to sleep on. they were so freaking cute that any residual bitterness i had about not getting more for the bunk bed melted away. sometimes, even when i am dumb, things just work out.

happy 4th.

after my crazy week, i was entirely unprepared for independence day. no barbecues lined up, no plans to see fireworks. my day was spent recovering from a defense and a move -- in other words, sleeping, doing homework, and doing my now-weekly internet catchup. and enjoying the best tuna melt i have ever consumed, thanks to robert, while running to the window every time i heard a firework.

i always feel i should be doing more on the 4th, but even if a bbq and fireworks are involved, it usually feels lacking. maybe, as with christmas, i'm looking for some deeper experience of the holiday that's hard to tap into anymore. but regardless, i welcome holidays of any kind. :)

out of control.

sarah palin's decision to resign as governor has left almost everyone befuddled. what exactly is she doing? is she freeing up her schedule to do some image rehab before a 2012 presidential campaign run? is she burnt out by all of the year-long onslaught of negative press she's endured for the last 10 months? in light of her power-grabbing behavior during the mccain campaign and since then, i would lean toward the former. one way or another, though -- what exactly are you doing? you're not helping the "experience" piece that you were chided for last time, and now you're bringing the "responsible leader" idea into question as well. i think this is a poor move, spalin, and the party leaders that you need to befriend are now even more eager to get rid of you. but whatever, at least it'll make for good entertainment for the next 3 years.

and please, honey, don't front like you're doing the people of alaska a favor by backing out and not being a lame-duck governor. you're peacing out on the commitment you made to serve your constituents for a full term, and either it's because you're selfish and power-hungry or because you don't have the mental fortitude to hang. neither is respectable, and the former is even worse than the latter. so please, don't pretend like you're being selfless here. you're not fooling anyone.

so you think you can dance, top 14

confession: i am obsessed with this show. it's been one of my few must-sees for years, but this season, my love for it has reached a whole new level. i don't think it's just because i know people on it this season or because i went to a taping (though these things certainly don't hurt) -- i think it's because it's just that freaking good.

thoughts about last night's episode:

brandon and janette: this couple has been killing it week after week, and this week was no exception. every single stinking week, they deliver a high-energy, personality-filled performance that's incredibly fun to watch -- and they can deliver technically as well, as they showed with the foxtrot their first week and the chacha last night. these two will go far -- though it will be interesting to see how janette fares in a contemporary piece. brandon, as we know, can do anything -- and i got a little faklempt when he finally heard mia's approval last night. the drama!

kayla and kupono: i was surprised to love this crazy, weird piece from sonya (who is from detroit and went to wayne state!). i have to agree with the judges that kayla really is a standout -- she is absolutely incredible -- but i cannot get over how little personality or -- how to put this nicely -- smarts she demonstrates. a snippet of our viewing commentary:

robin: how can a girl with no brain be such a good dancer?
me: everyone's gifts add up to 100%, robin.
robin: guess how much dancing is for her.

evan and randi: anyone who doesn't know by now that evan is a good friend of my brother's, and that ryan was one of my high school crushes (really, what gpac girl didn't have a crush on him at some point), has probably not seen me in the last 2 months. these two have given some stunning performances (weeks 1 and 3 were particularly awesome), but this week felt lacking. maybe it's because the choreographer seemed like a huge biznatch. evan delivered some stellar moves, but given that this is his genre... it was a little bit below expectation. (though i still voted for them as many times as i could before my voting period ended. dang you, east coast area code in a pacific time zone!) and while i'm warming up to randi, i'm starting to think that this competition is wearing on her, both from what she said yesterday and from seeing her at the taping last week (more about that day to come).

jason and caitlin: i love these two individually (getting to interact with them last week definitely helped that), and i enjoyed their performance yesterday, but it seemed to leave the judges wanting more. (her heinous costume didn't help -- who the freak is dressing her? princess leia's gold bikini last week, and martian stegosaurus this week? come on, wardrobe.) these two seem to have been underperforming for the last three weeks. i don't know what it is, b/c separately they're excellent, but together, save for the first week... they haven't really knocked it out of the park. i see bottom three-ness again for them, which is sad, b/c i really like them, but another average performance won't help.

philip and jeanine: this was the part of the show where i started to think that the dances are stacked. this was their second time in 4 weeks getting hiphop with tabitha and napoleon. wtf? no one else has gotten the same genre twice, and certainly not in their own style. are the producers trying to keep philip for the top 10 b/c of his huge following? did the judges get tired of telling him he wasn't doing well? did nappytabs have a brilliant idea that they had to do this week? whatever it was, it didn't seem fair.

regardless, it was an excellent performance, b/c philip is just so dang good at hiphop. and while i don't like jeanine, she is a great dancer, and she's been able to adapt to every style they've given her. but seriously, sytycd... where's the justice here?

ade and melissa: this was where i became convinced that the dances are stacked. can you imagine if philip had drawn a classical pas de deux? please. regardless, i loved loved LOVED this dance. i cannot get over how precious and sweet melissa is, and she's an amazing dancer who brings a ton of character to her performances. and ade... the gentle giant. i feel like he's still flying under the radar, but he is so effing good. who else could have handled a pas de deux with so many lifts? and seeing him go from contemporary to rumba to pas de deux to last week's group hip hop number, there really isn't anything he can't do well. this couple is going to be another one to beat.

while we're on the topic, i wish nigel had spent more time talking about how awesome they were instead of how awesome the show -- his show -- is for having a classical ballet piece. it might be hard to grasp, nigel, but this moment was not about you.

karla and vitolio: the injustice of the show hit me here too, b/c no one is throwing this couple a bone. the quickstep? really? i know that karla has already had contemporary, but seriously, they're leaving this couple to die. regardless, they delivered a good performance. and the costume change! amazing. i like these two, and i think that they're better off now that their old partners are gone, but i'm not sure that this dance was enough to save them. especially since no one really loves the quickstep, and i don't know if either one of them has been able to establish enough of a fan base in the past few weeks.

predictions for bottom three: karla and vitolio, jason and caitlin, and... kills me to say it... evan and randi. unless their fans save them. competition is getting tough, yo -- i feel like almost all of the no-brainer cuts have already been made.

prediction for who's going home: karla and vitolio. for the dudes, i think it'll be between vitolio and jason. it's a hard call (especially since i like them both. especially jason.) -- but even though vitolio did well this week, he got some harsh reviews in last week's bottom 3, mia doesn't seem to love him, and jason's solo from 2 weeks ago might give him the edge. i'm not as convinced of this call as i was of last week's (the sytycd viewing crew correctly called the bottom 3 and the 2 who left, thankyouverymuch -- though maybe it was just that obvious).

omg i love this show so much. what are your thoughts?

landing.

i don't know what i was supposed to feel during my dissertation defense. nervous, maybe, since it is perhaps the most significant event of my too-long academic career. truth be told, i hadn't felt much of anything towards my dissertation since submitting the final draft to my committee almost 2 weeks ago, save for the bursts of nervous, giddy energy that arose when i started making the powerpoint on sunday, and every time i opened it thereafter.

i was quite surprised to find that above all, i felt, more than anything else during that hour and a half, loved. at the back of the conference room sat a row of very significant people in my life -- juls, my roommate of 4 years. emily, my roommate of 2 years. robert. my parents, who had freaking flown in from michigan to be a part of it. and at the table sat my 4 committee members, who freaked me out a little during my data colloquium but have been nothing but supportive otherwise. everyone was watching me, yes, but everyone was listening, nodding -- encouraging me, it felt, with their eyes (as cheesy as that sounds) and later their words. i was so overwhelmed afterwards by all of the love that i was almost at the point of tears, but i had to keep it down because i didn't want to be one of those people who cries after their defense.

the reality that i am done with my dissertation hasn't sunk in yet, maybe because i had already felt so little about my dissertation for weeks, and maybe because i have quite a bit to do in the next few days. but the love i felt today -- from the people who wished me well beforehand, from the people who were present, from the people who congratulated me afterward -- that has left quite an impact. and i'm so grateful that in the end, that's what today was about.

so to those who prayed for me, thank you -- it made all the difference.

to those who came, thank you -- it meant the world to me, and more.

to those who have celebrated with me, even for a moment, thank you.

and on we go...